Looking at: 2014 in games, Quarter 4

Ok, so here's the thing about the holidays, they get busy real fast. I really did mean for this post to go up a few days ago, but I found myself oddly busy with social outings and the like. To add tragedy, my main computer's motherboard just died, so that's been a thing too. Regardless, here it is, the final entry in my year-end look-back list-amajig.The fourth quarter is always the most important one, being the holiday season and all, and this year was no different. Lube up, this is the big one.

The Evil Within
Oct. 14th

http://cdn-static.denofgeek.com/sites/denofgeek/files/9/30//4-evil-within-cover-art.jpg

As I previously mentioned Resident Evil 4 is one of my all time favorite games, along with Red Dead Redemption and Morrowind. It's a fantastic game, well put together, and it still holds up really well. Sufficed to say I was really excited for the spiritual successor in the form of The Evil Within, considering how shitty the actual sequels to RE4 were. Thankfully I was not disappointing, mostly.

The Evil Within is certainly a better horror game then RE4 was, leaning much harder into the horror rather then RE4's almost B-movie approach to it. It's a creepy game, using dark lighting and disgusting imagery to put you in a constant state of unease. There's still jump scares, sure, but they work because the entire experience has you on edge. There are some particularly gory moments, and it's definitely not for the faint of heart.

Unfortunately, where it doesn't quite meet RE4's level of excellence is in the gameplay. Shooting feels sloppy, and trying to line up shots in unnecessarily difficult, particularly annoying when ammo is so limited. There's a stealth system, which is great since it allows you to conserve ammo, but the game often forgets that it exists and constantly throws you against hordes of enemies. It's possible to overcome The Evil Within, but it'll take a bit of patience.

Legend of Grimrock 2
Oct. 15th

http://www.grimrock.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/LoG_2_logo_small.jpg

The first Legend of Grimrock was a great throwback to classic grid-based RPG's from PC gaming's primordial years. It was like stepping back in time, only everything was fancy looking and there was proper mouse controls. Grimrock 2 is a similar experience, only everything is even better.

The first thing to note about Grimrock 2 is the new playing field. Unlike the original, this time you aren't locked to a single dungeon, rather an entire island with multiple paths. That might sound like a bad idea for a grid-based game, and we've seen it fail spectacularly in the recent Might and Magic X. Thankfully, unlike that game, the island of Grimrock 2 is so tightly controlled that the grid based movement still works, at least for the most part, and the mixture of tight corridors and open fields works well with the movement. It is a little to easy to overshoot your moves, especially when holding the movement key down, but's a minor issue.

Combat is improved too, with enemies better able to adapt to your party's movement. In practice, this means that circle-strafing around an enemy constantly no longer works, and you'll need to actually think for some of the bigger fights.

More then just combat are the dozens upon dozens of puzzles that litter the island, ranging from simple brain teasers, to multi-tiered grand mechanisms that require time and patience to figure out. It's likely you'll eventually find yourself stumped, but the design of the world is such that you can leave an area, explore somewhere else, and come back when your ready to try it again.

The absolute freedom that Grimrock 2 grants you, both in it's world and the character building, is a great change from it's predecessor. Grimrock is a fantastic sequel, and just an all around great game to play.

Civilization: Beyond Earth
Oct. 24th

http://gameserrors.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/rGJmNan.png

Call a spade a spade, and call Civ: Beyond Earth Alpha Centauri 2, since that's essentially what it is. Civ: BE moves the series into space, and along with it trims the fat and streamlines the process in the best way possible. It's not the great sequel to Civ V we were hoping for, and it looks and plays a little bit to much like it's earthbound predecessor, but it's a great time-sink and an interesting new step for the long-running PC series.

Binding of Isaac: Rebirth 
Nov. 4th

http://www.relyonhorror.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/boir.png

Sick, twisted, disturbing, and shocking are all ways to describe this re-release of The Binding of Isaac. You can also describe it as addicting, enjoyable, and well put together, since it really is. Eschewing the flash based roots of the original, this is a much better compiled game that feels more stable, and comes packed with so much extra content great for fans of the original.

Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric
Nov. 11th

http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/media/37593/4/1.jpg

Vomit.jpg

So fitting that this was released on Remembrance Day, since it's a constant reminder of how good Sonic used to be. Rise of Lyric isn't on this list because it's a good game, lord no. It's here because of how unintentionally hilarious the whole thing really is. It's often been said that you can't make a game so bad it's good, since unlike movies games require constant player input, but this might be close. Terrible voice acting, bizarre character redesigns, brain-damaged writing, and stupidly simplistic gameplay make this one of the funniest games since... Sonic '06. 

Valkyria Chronicles 
Nov. 11th

http://www.technobuffalo.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Valkyria-Chronicles-1.jpg

PC ports of Japanese games are always a gamble. Often they're clunky and the graphics are lacking, especially when it's a port of a six year old game. Thankfully Valkyria Chronicles manages to avoid these pitfalls, mostly, and is one of the best and most interesting PC ports I've seen in a long time.

The game itself is World War 2 by way of Japanese anime. If that sounds weird, you ain't seen nothing. You play as a young man returning home from university who, along with his STEP-sister and a local baker, kill a bunch of dudes with a super tank left over from a previous war.

 What.

Thanks to this super tank you find yourself commander of a small squad and sent into action against increasingly overwhelming odds, all the while upgrading and managing the individual soldiers and mixing and matching people for the best squad possible.

Gameplay, when there is some, is a tactical affair. You spend points to take control of a unit, then move them using up action points, and attacking enemies by aiming in third person. The trick is that it's all real-time, and units can and will, fire at you while you're moving around. It takes some time to get used to, but after the first few missions you'll get it.

There's also a shitload of cutscenes. Like, a serious shitload. For every one mission there's at least three cutscenes surrounding it on both sides. Thankfully the story is interesting enough to keep you connected, and the voice acting is decent for a translated game.

This War of Mine
Nov. 14th

http://www.blogcdn.com/slideshows/images/slides/249/753/6/S2497536/slug/l/this-war-of-mine-artwork-01-1.jpg

TWoM is a game of survival, sadness, and depression, often at the same time. It tasks you with staying alive in the midst of a devastating civil war, and examines a side of conflict that often goes overlooked in video games. You are not a soldier, rather you're just a group of regular people trying to get by. You'll need to scavenge to survive, and your dealings with other survivors won't always be friendly. You'll do some terrible things to live, and you'll suffer for it. An interesting idea and great gameplay make this sad tale one to check out.

Shadow of Mordor
Nov. 18th

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiILZ6ZMrA1gZxIyNJ8xkK535lz_jrC-jniQav1PFdCkxECb0t4IgkmRmx-Ze8M1JhgBFxau50J7gygLJ_GDgI8wBHfTpRWHPZRgxFOMH8eGAgql5l_XbaVW1lzL6gyWDnAUVs0I7D8tVM/s1600/Middle-Earth-Shadow-Of-Mordor-2014-Game.jpg

Technically the full title of this game is Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor, but I didn't call it that because it's connection to Middle-earth is shaky at best. It doesn't do Tolkien or his world any major disservices, but it also doesn't really fit in either. Shadow of Mordor is an expanded universe title in a universe that doesn't really need expanding.

What it also is, is an engrossing and endlessly entertaining game to play. It's gameplay is instantly familiar, equal parts Arkham City and Assassin's Creed, you'll climb and stealth your way around the region of Mordor, stalking hordes of Orcs and taking them out. The stealth works great, with a recognizable detection mechanic, but when that fails you get into the swordplay, which is also really, really fun. Like the aforementioned Arkham games, combat in SoM is a rhythmic affair, rewarding you for perfectly timed strikes and blocks. It's tempting to forego stealth, just to lop off another dozen or so Orc heads.

When not literally chopping off heads, you'll be doing it figuratively, thanks to the dynamic Orc Nemesis system. Amongst the throngs of nameless Orcs are the captains, each with randomly generated names, strengths, and weaknesses. They act as mobile mini-bosses, and while you can fight them in ordinary combat, finding and exploiting their weaknesses is a great challenge that's truly rewarding. Even better is the late game, which allows you to command the Orcs and play them against one another for even bigger conflicts.

Attached to the great gameplay is a great story, exploring fatherhood and what you would do for revenge. It's got some connections to the world of Middle-Earth, and one surprising guest appearance, but it's fine if you haven't read the books or seen the movies. Overall it's a great game with plenty to do and a ton of Orc beheadings, which is fine too.

Super Smash Bros. WiiU
Nov. 21st

http://imageserver.moviepilot.com/smash-bros-wii-u-release-date-super-smash-bros-4-wii-u-3ds-unlock-all-characters-stages-in-one-hour-super-smash-bros-4-want-to-beat-your-f.png?width=1366&height=768

Nintendo characters beating the hell out of each other. What could be better? How about an expanded roster, more levels, more gameplay options, and more items? That's what SSBU is. There's a tonne of new content and characters, but the core gameplay remains the same. You choose a beloved Nintendo character, like Mario, Samus, or Link, and make them fight to the death. Simple, and a lot of fun. If you liked the last few entries in this series then this is a no-brainer.

Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zero
Dec. 18th

http://megagames.com/sites/default/files/game-images/MGSV.jpg

I honestly didn't think this game would make this list, due to it's late release. Thankfully, it launched on Steam for $15, so I scooped it up and dove in head first.

Acting as a prequel to next years Metal Gear Solid V: Phantom Pain, MGS:GZ is a bit of a weird specimen. It's not quite a demo, and it's not quite an engine test. At best it feels like a standalone DLC for a game that hasn't been released yet.

What it also feels like is a great step forward in the long running stealth series. I unfortunately only have a little experience with the MGS series, specifically MGS3: Snake Eater, so my point of reference for MGS5 is a little off. What I do understand is how greatly improved the gameplay is over it's predecessor. Everything in Ground Zero is smooth and simple to do, from just moving around the environment to taking hostages and even shooting is better. For the first time in the series you can actually infiltrate with ease, and stealth is no longer any hassle.

The setup is that you are the Big Boss, a legendary soldier/spy and it's 1974. You must infiltrate a US black-site prison camp in Cuba to rescue two prisoners, Paz and Chico. How you do that is up to you, literally, since GZ is an open world game. The camp is small, but there are plenty of things to see and explore.

If the purpose of Ground Zero was to get me excited for Phantom Pain then job well done. It may be short, but for a slice of Kojima flavored weird, I'm willing to pay to play.

Lumbering into 2015

Well that's it, the list of games that weren't complete disasters this year. 2014 really kind of sucked, since the highest praise some games got this year were "at least it's stable", Let's hope 2015 is a little better, and maybe this industry still has a chance.

Looking at: 2014 in games, Quarter 3

The third quarter is usually the slowest, with most of the summer drought being here. There wasn't much, but here are the games that I liked from July to September.

Metro Redux
Aug. 26th

http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/metro2033/images/8/8a/MetroRedux.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140524110617

As a rule, I normally dislike HD remakes of games released in the last five years. It often seems unnecessary to me, and just reinforces how shitty this new generation of consoles really is by not including native backwards compatibility. However, the Metro Redux pack is something of an exception, at least half of it anyway, by being a completely new version of one of my favorite horror series in recent memory. Make no mistake, Metro 2033 Redux is a new game, and a great one to boot.

That really is the main draw of this pack, the reworked version of 2033. Sure, the game of the year edition of Last Light is nice, as well as the inclusion of a new exclusive game mode, but those are just window dressing on an already great game. The reworking of 2033 is something else, an absolute masterpiece of workmanship that understands the best and worst parts of the original game and smooths the whole experience out nicely. The AI is better, the action more violent, the guns more punchy, the stealth more not-terrible, and the snot launchers more manageable. All of this comes in a neat package, combining two great games for one low price. If you missed this hidden hit back in 2010, then do yourself a favor and grab this pack.

Dead Rising 3
Sept. 5th (PC)

http://oyster.ignimgs.com/mediawiki/apis.ign.com/dead-rising-3/thumb/e/ee/Dead-rising-3-banner.png/468px-Dead-rising-3-banner.png

Like big, sweeping RPGs, I have a soft spot for zombie games. I love bashing, blowing up, and absolutely destroying the undead, and the Dead Rising series has always been among my favorite for this. The first game was a great proof of concept for fitting hundreds of enemies on-screen, while second entry expanded on the ideas while refining some of the rough spots. Dead Rising 3 is the sum of both parts, taking the greatest ideas from both games and combining them like so many fire axes and sledgehammers.

The sheer number of on-screen zombies is staggering, putting every other zombie game to shame. There's a great variety to them two, so the crowds look like actual crowds of zombies, not just the same 20-30 enemies repeated. There's a myriad of weapons to use and even more ways to combine them for hilarious results. Two words: dildo cannon.

The plot is your regular B-movie nonesense, with over-acting galore. It's fun enough, and doesn't try to take itself serious, plus it sets up the great boss fights. There's a tonne of customization, and plenty to see in the seamless open world. It's a zombie game for zombie gamers, and it's a great time.

Wasteland 2
Sept. 19th

https://wasteland.inxile-entertainment.com/static/img/pages/media/WL2logo-1920.jpg

We have yet to see Fallout 4, which Bethesda insists they're working on. In the meantime, Wasteland 2 fills the post-apocalyptic void nicely, as well as the tactical turn-based hole that you didn't know you had.

Set years after the classic RPG, you play as a group of new recruits in the Desert Rangers, a peace keeping corps in the post-apocalyptic landscape of Texas and Arizona. Like most classic RPGs it starts you off with a simple mission that soon balloons into a grand quest. Along the way you'll meet the denizens of the desert, and probably shoot a lot of them.

Like the Fallout series it's loosely attached to, one of the main themes of Wasteland 2 is choice and consequence. You'll often be presented with a variety of choices, and the outcome of each will be radically different. Entire areas of the map will be inaccessible or completely different based on what you decide to do, and a minor choice can have far reaching consequences down the road. It's a game that demands multiple replays, and even then it's unlikely you'll see everything on offer.

Thankfully, the gameplay is great too. It's a tactical game, similar to the likes of the recent Divinity: Original Sin, or the Xcom games. You control your squad of up to seven, and dish out orders using Action Points. Combat is tough, with a great variety of ranged and melee, so using cover and aiming properly are a must. It's rewarding to come out on top, and some of the tougher fights will really make you work for that victory.

The Vanishing of Ethan Carter
Sept. 26th

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Lb68mCaHBfU/maxresdefault.jpg

For a long time people have been asking for a game based on the works of H.P. Lovecraft. We've seen his influence in games, mostly in the form of his most famous creation Cthulu, but he wrote so many stories that the majority of his works have gone untapped. We may never see a proper adaption of The Mountains of Madness or The Rats in the Walls, but Ethan Carter is certainly good enough that it could be considered one of his works.

The setup is that you're an aged detective with supernatural powers that decided to examine the disappearance of Ethan Carter and his family after the young boy writes you a letter. Your supernatural powers that I mentioned allow you to recreate crime scenes after piecing together the various clues. Position items just right and the scene comes to life in fragments. Place the fragments in the right order and watch the scenes play out, as well as the conclusion to them.

It's a dark and twisted tale, greatly befitting Lovecraft. There's dark rituals, unnamed beasts, ancient magics, and horrors man can't comprehend. The puzzles are challenging, and there's a great deal of things to do as you uncover the mystery. Anyone looking for a proper Lovecraft tale should consider giving Ethan Carter a look.

Check back Dec. 26 for the conclusion of the list. 

Looking at: 2014 in games, Quarter 2

Let's keep this train wreck a-rolling with the games from April to June. This will be the shortest part of this list, but it does contain two of my favorite games from this year.

Goat Sim
Apr. 1st

http://coffeestainstudios.com/sites/default/files/games/logo/goat_simulator_logo_0.jpg

The shitty simulator trope is way to overdone these days, culminating in the likes of a goddamn grass simulation and a dishearteningly terrible shopping sim. But among all of that trash lies Goat Sim, a joke game with a simple premise and great presentation.

The setup is that you are a goat, and your videogame is terrible. The store page for Goat Sim promises bugs, and sure enough they're here in spades. You are free to run around at will and slam/smash/lick whatever you want, often resulting in violent bouts of destruction.

Ostensibly Goat Sim is actually closer to the Tony Hawk games, as you try to combo actions together for bigger score multipliers. It's an incredibly stupid game, but it's a game that knows it's stupid and invites you to be stupid alongside it. In a year where so many AAA games are shipping in buggy, unreleased states, at least this one has the balls to tell you about it.

Dark Souls 2
Apr. 25th (PC version)

http://static.gamespot.com/uploads/original/1535/15354745/2420857-2571372632-Dark-.jpg

Despite being a massive fan of the first game, and putting a number of hours into the second game, I've resisted doing a full look at DS2. It's a fantastic game, that's for sure, and fans of the first one will fall in love with this re-worked sequel. The only reason I have't officially looked at it is because I can't yet. DS2 is a game that deserves to be examined as a whole, and having not completed the game I feel I'd do it a disservice.

Here's the condensed version: it's really good. There's more to do, a greater variety of areas, and a better range of upgrade options. Unfortunately, there are some tweaks for the worse, and these are what keep it from being as good as it's predecessor. Notably is the nerfing of the dodge ability, with many bosses and enemies automatically adjusting to you position, and fewer invincibility frames of the animation. This may sound like minor nitpicking, and to a certain degree it is, but this was a integral part of the first game, and the fact that it doesn't work as well here is disappointing.

 Regardless, DS2 is an amazingly deep game, with tonnes of challenges to tackle, and a great deal of bosses to conquer. It's one of the best games of the year and one of the best RPGs of the 2010's.

Wolfenstien: The New Order
May 20th

http://www.onlysp.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/wolfenstein-the-new-order-helmet-wallpaper-1.jpg

Resurrecting old franchises is often a risky venture, a fate that Wolfenstien knows all to well. Predictably, people were apprehensive about this reboot that saw the US loosing WW2 and a Nazi-run 1960 world. But it seems that, like it's storyline, this game was able to rewrite history.

This isn't quite a perfect reboot of the classic Wolfenstien, but it's not really trying to be. For the most part New Order actually plays like a stealth game, allowing you to sneak around the level and plan your approach. There's shooting, no doubt, but it's a smarter, more refined shooter then it's barbaric predecessors.

The plot, like I mentioned, concerns the Allies loosing WW2 to a superpowered and technologically advanced Nazi regime. You enter as BJ Blazkowicz, the series' long time protagonist. During a particularly disastrous battle BJ is wounded and left in a vegetate state until the mind 60's where he suddenly recovers and starts immediately getting his kill on, hard style.

It's a nutty, irreverent, and oddly coherent story taking obvious ques from Tarantino and old pulp comics like The Loosers (the original run) or the oldest version of the Suicide Squad. It never takes itself to seriously, but never devolves into the realm of parody, and it's an odd balance that kind of works. Whatever it is, it's one of the best shooters this year, and a great return of single-player FPS games.

Shovel Knight
Jun. 26th

http://oyster.ignimgs.com/wordpress/stg.ign.com/2013/03/titleimagejpg-e20e4b_800w-610x457.jpg

To many indie games use "retro" as a crutch. The retro look lets them create easier to manage pixel art, while also allows them to prey on people's nolstalgia for the 8/16bit era when "video games were good" (quote: idiots). Where Shovel Knight sets itself apart is it's commitment to the bit. With the exception of a few pallet colors, everything in Shovel Knight is exactly how it would be on an actual NES cart. Add to that great platforming reminiscent of Duck Tales or Castlevania, and a great chiptune soundtrack, including tracks from the actual composer for Mega Man, and this is a game that's pure old school.

Keeping that spirit, the setup is simple. You are Shovel Knight, a legendary explorer and fighter, armed with your eponymous tool. Your best friend Shield Knight has been kidnapped, and so you must defeat the evil Knights that block you path. Each Knight has a theme represented through their levels, and each present a unique and challenging boss fight.

Like Super Meat Boy before it, this is pure platforming at it's best. The controls are tight and perfect, meaning that screw ups are your fault. There's an upgrade system, and even a risk-reward mechanic that allows you to forgo checkpoints for extra loot. It's a challenging and engaging platformed perfect for lazy Sundays with a 3DS.

Divinity: Original Sin
June 30th

http://www.divinityoriginalsin.com/wallpapers/DOSWallpaper_02_1920x1080.jpg

If it hasn't become glaringly obvious, I love huge RPG games. I'm not the kind of person to assign a dollar/hour equation to a game, and some of my favorite games are incredibly short, but I do get giddy when a game is packed with plenty of content. Divinity: Original Sin particularly tickled my fancy by being an absolutely stunning and massive game, with tonnes to do and some of the best interaction in recent history.

To a certain degree, Divinity is the anti-Shovel Knight, using old-school mechanics in a new-school game. It's played from an isometric perspective, and sees you mouse-clicking your party around the world to talk/fight whatever you want. Where Divinity really sets itself apart is it's use of pen&paper style interaction. Everything in the game world can be interacted with, and sometimes this can be used to move forward in unexpected ways.

The best example of this is an early quest where you're tasked with stealing something from the captain of the guard in town. Since none of my characters had a good stealth level, I wasn't able to sneak in and rob the man. Eventually I figured out that I could just distract him by talking with him with one character, while my other character stole his stuff.

 In anther case I needed to break into a house to find evidence for a crime. I didn't have any lockpicks, and wasn't able to pick-pocket the key from the home owner, so I burnt down her door with a fireball. There's dozens of these kinds of interactions, and the whole game plays like a challenge of "how can I break this?"

If there is one fatal flaw in Divinity, it's the UI. It's horrible and clunky, mostly due to the adherence to the old-school feel. There's no party pool of gold, so that needs to be constantly moved around, and trading with NPC's is a patience testing ordeal in clunkiness that's made me actually stop playing out of frustration. If you can look past this, it's a great game that hearkens back to classics like Baldur's Gate and Darklands.

Check back tomorrow for Quarter 3

Looking at: 2014 in games, Quarter 1

Quarter 1: January, February, March.

We start off this list with the first quarter of the year. These are the game released from Jan.-Mar. that I enjoyed well enough. Also included in this list are games that released over the year, so they don't have any one specific release date.

Bravely Default
Jan. 7th

http://assets1.ignimgs.com/2014/02/07/bravely-default-us-esrb-3dsjpg-464c85.jpg

The JRPG genre is not dead, at least not yet, but it's wounded and limping. There hasn't been a truly great JRPG in a very long time, with many believing that Final Fantasy X was the last great one. Sure, the Final Fantasy series keeps chugging on, driven forward by the belief that someday they'll get it right again, but outside of that series the entire genre is stagnant. What a pleasant surprise that Bravely Default is then, a hardcore oldschool JRPG that's not afraid to innovate where necessary.

The plot is the same thing we've seen in every JRPG ever made. The hero's town is blown to shit so he, along with his three friends, must journey across the land to unite the mcguffins and capture the red herrings. There are character specific plots, side quests, and every town has it's own story to uncover.

Where Bravely Default sets itself apart is in it's refined and perfected gameplay. Combat is still turn-based, but rather then just one attack per turn you can choose to Brave or Default. Default puts your character into a defensive state and earns you a Brave Point. Brave allows you to queue up multiple moves per turn, using up Brave Points, or allowing you to go into the negative. This means you can queue up to four attacks in one turn, but will leave you vulnerable for the next three turns. It's a great system that can allow you to speed up battles and tackle tricky foes. Couple this with the incredibly deep job system and a tonne of different weapons, and combat is a satisfying affair that'll keep you attached for the game's 80+ hours.

JazzPunk
Jan. 7th

http://www.jazzpunk.net/images/jpLogo770.png

It should come as no surprise that JazzPunk is published by Adult Swim. The game's mile a minute jokes and bizarre pop-culture references feel right at home with the late-night comedy channel. I was honestly surprised that the game wasn't written by Tim and Eric, Adam Reed, or the guys behind Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Technically, JazzPunk is a series of mostly unrelated spy missions, with you as the spy. You must infiltrate various places, complete various objectives, and usually escape. That's just the setup. In execution it's much different, as you find yourself conversing with microwaves, playing wedding-themed versions of Quake, setting a building on fire with the "Ice Alarm" and destroying a fine China shop to kill a fly.

I won't spend any more time talking about JazzPunk, since it's a game that's meant to be experienced. Come with a sense of humor, because despite it's really short length, this is a jam-packed game.

Banished
Feb. 18th

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI4HdmvU9HnA37pOai8B9D1Rolypi_tF3F9dtAIfcGW-JR7RyT3SyBVHf7SaNNUV5oEUcCTjEK4QHAUZ0u7_N4UOX3oMlQf_StLE1UkSmLXhm7j3XgZCHs0p81ju1D41qGurbq81zApIA/s604/xcapsule_616x353.jpg

Banished is a rare type of game, and I mean that in the most literal sense. Here in the West we don't tend to see a lot of city building sims, perhaps since up until recently there was only one name in that game. But Banished is a great example of how small dev teams, in this case one guy, can really show up the AAA industry when they put their minds to it.

As a game, Banished sits somewhere between Sim City, the Anno series, and Dwarf Fortress. It's a city building game, certainly, but there are layers upon layers of micro-managment at play here, that you need to pay attention to everything going on, not just building placement. You will fail in Banished, many, many times before you get it right, but once you learn how to play it properly, you'll fall in love with it.

Rayman Legends
Feb. 18th

http://purenintendo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/rayman-legends-title-screen.jpeg

Technically, this released in 2013 for the WiiU, but since it's so damn good I'll include it here, thanks to the X1 and PS4 re-release.

The Rayman series is almost as old as Sonic or Mario, yet often gets forgotten against the onslaught of games from those two series. Despite this, back in 2011 Ubisoft resurrected the limbless hero for Rayman Origins, a visually creative and back-to-roots platformer. Now they've brought him back again for another go, this time around it's a romp through history, and you can bring your friends.

Originally slated as a WiiU release, that version of the game features an asynchronous type of gameplay where, for certain levels, most player plays as the regular collection of Rayman characters, and one player plays as Murphy who manipulates the levels to help his friends succeed. It's fast paced and tense as you find yourself working together to achieve split second success.

As far as platformers go it's not quite as tightly controlled as Mario, and it's speed never reaches Sonic levels. It's closer to Super Meat Boy, with split-second restarts and tough-as-nails boss fights. Play through it with a friend, and it's one of the best platformers in years.

South Park: The Stick of Truth
Mar. 4th

http://cdn.cheatcc.com/Screenshots/guide/StickOfTruthLogo-Small.jpg

Licensed games are terrible, everyone knows that. Parody games are terrible, everyone knows that. Yet, somehow, South Park studios, along with Ubisoft, were able to pull off both of these things in one of the best and most surprising RPGs this year.

SoT sees you as the New Kid, a silent new addition to the eponymous Colorado town who gets recruited into the fantastical conflict between the Elves (including Stan and Kyle) and the Humans (featuring Cartman and Kenny). However, like most episodes of the show, this soon blows up to epic proportions, with aliens, government agents, Nazi Zombies, and ancient fart magic all coming into play. It's a weird examination of the RPG and JRPG genre, and it uses the well known tropes of these games to great use.

Combat in Stick of Truth is oddly reminiscent of the Mario RPG games, with you dishing out attacks and using items while making use of your support character. It's strangly deep, with different damage types and a variety of status ailments to make use of. Your going to actually need to put effort into combat, and some of the battles, especially the boss fights, are particularly tough.

More then just good gameplay, Stick of Truth feels like an episode of South Park, albiet an incredibly long, 12-15 hour episode. You'll interact with the familiar denizens of the town, occasionally taking on missions from them, and there are so many references it's impossible to keep track. The writing is top notch, mostly thanks to Trey Parker and Matt Stone taking the reigns on everything, and the animation is identical to what South Park should look like. This is a game for fans of the show, by fans of the show, and another reminder why Obsidian is one of the best RPG devs in the business. Come for the fart jokes, stay for the great story and gameplay.

The Wolf Among Us
Various Dates

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/7a_St9DTuO0/maxresdefault.jpg

There was speculation that this game would never be finished. After hitting it off so well with the episodic formula, Telltale games took their sweet time getting this adaptation of Bill Willingham's comic Fables out the door. It seems to have paid off though, as this is a series well worth the wait.

The set up for Fables and TWAU is that a while back, most of the fairy tales migrated to New York City to attempt to live like normal humans. The result is things like Snow White as an administrative assistant, Beauty and the Beast as a bickering couple in debt, and The Big Bad Wolf as a human detective. All of this is set against a neon-soaked noir background some time in the late 90's and it makes for a grim tale to be sure.

What's great about TWAU is how different it is from Telltale's other hit series The Walking Dead. Whereas that series is all about survival in the face of grim disaster, Fables is a much different beast. It's darker in certain places, but manages to crack a smile now and again, and even fit in a joke. It's clear that the Telltale team were stretching their creative legs again, and it's a nice change of pace from the dark tales of the Walking Dead.

The Walking Dead: Season 2
Various Dates

http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/comicsalliance.com/files/2013/10/The-Walking-Dead-Season-2-630x232.jpg

It's as good as the first season. Playing as a little girl lets the game get into some incredibly dark scenarios, and you will see/do things that will make you sick. It's hard to tell how much of the horror comes from the actual situation, and how much of it comes from the idea of a little girl doing it, but it's terrifying none the less. If you enjoyed the first season you owe it to yourself to play this one.

Check back tomorrow for Quarter 2.

Looking at: Video Game Review Scores

The IGN problem

Last night I was discussing the recently released game Dead State, a game that I'm rather looking forward to. It's a turn-based sandbox RPG about surviving a zombie apocalypse, like if Wasteland 2 and State of Decay got together and had a kid. Turn-based RPG's are all the rage recently, with standout titles like the previously mentioned Wasteland 2, or the amazing Divinity: Original Sin, so I was excited for Dead State. Nevermind the fact that a large majority of people working on it are leftovers from Troika games, makers of the greatest steampunk RPG ever and the greatest vampire RPG ever.

Initial reviews for Dead State have been somewhat mixed, and when I mentioned to my brother that I'd still like to give it a go he said 

"I don't know, IGN gave it a pretty bad review"

Now, IGN has an interesting position in the world of games and game criticism, and to a certain degree I almost feel bad for them. They can't seem to do anything right by people. When they give a game a positive review they get accused of being paid off, as illustrated below: 

http://i.imgur.com/SLQJc.gif

Even when they give negative reviews, like their decidedly negative review of Medal of Honor: Warfighter[sic] they get called out for "pandering" and "not being honest enough".

 I have nothing inherently against IGN. I visit them daily, and their ability to deliver breaking industry news is commendable. Recently they've made great strides in reaching out to their community, culminating in one of the best moments in recent gaming journalism:

http://i.imgur.com/IZp6jIS.jpg

IGN's response to a mislabled video of Dragon Age: Inquisition PC footage. It was revealed that the footage was actually captured from the X1 version, and not the PC version.;

The problem with IGN is what they represent, and the image they've created of themselves. People tend to question the ethics of giving a game high praise when the website around it is covered in no less then six different ads for that game. 

But I'm not here to discuss ethics in gaming journalism, there's enough of that already. I'm here to discuss review scores, and how we should use them. When I checked IGN's review score of Dead State I saw they gave it a 6.8. you can read the whole review here. It's a fair review, offering many of the same critiques as other reviews. So why is a 6.8 considered a "negative" review, but a 7 would be considered an "ok" review. And when did all of this happen? A few years ago a 6 or a 7 would be fine.

Reviewing the Review

There are several issues with the way modern games are reviewed. First, let's start with the obvious: Metacritic. I like Metacritic. It's a great site that allows me to easily gauge how good/bad a game might be, and whether or not it's worth my money/time. Here's the thing though, I don't look at the number specifically. Metacritic rates games out of 100, regardless of how the websites themselves rate games. IGN, for example, rates things on a 1-10 scale, and Metacritic converts that to a 1-100 scale. Theoretically, this kind of works, but a 6.8/10 sounds much less harsh then a 68/100. And that's dealing with a site that uses numbers. What about sites that use alphabetical rating systems, or abstain from any sort of rating system at all? 

The best way around this is to, like I said, use Metacritic purely as a gauge. If the game is receiving positive buzz, then it's probably worth your time. If the game is receiving mediocre reviews, then check it out cautiously and do extra research to see why. If it's getting negative reviews, then avoid the game and save yourself some money. Of course, the best way to see if a game is good or not is to just play it, but demo's have gone the way of the dinosaur, and shelling out $30, $40, or $50 for a complete failure can really sting. 

Technical Difficulties

The second major issue with game reviews is how people review the games. Dragon Age: Inquisition has received universal praise, with some calling it one of the best RPGs ever made comparable to the likes of Baldur's Gate 2 or Morrowind. All of this despite the PS3 version being buggy, multiple reports of frame rate issues across the board, and a DRM that does serious damage to your hard drive while it's running. Similarly, Halo: The Master Chief Collection received high praise, despite the fact that the multiplayer is buggy and unstable and a hilariously over-sized day 1 patch. Shouldn't these factor into a review? If a game is buggy and unstable, then it is not a good game, regardless of how fun the game itself might be.

My favorite example for how fucked up modern reviews are is Fallout: New Vegas. I'm a huge fan of the fallout series, having played through and beaten every game, save the terrible Brotherhood of Steel, so when New Vegas came out I bought it immediately. What I, and many others, got was a great game with one of the most realized and expansive stories and tonnes of memorable characters, surrounded in bugs and broken code. For a good week after New Vegas launched the only way to save your game on PC was through a console code, and the game still has various bugs and crashes. 

Despite being really, really good, New Vegas' reviews struggled, and it ended up with an 84/100 on Metacritic. The reason New Vegas is interesting is because the dev team missed out on a promised bonus that would've been awarded with a Metacritic score of 85. All because of a few bugs. 

So why then does Dragon Age or Halo: MCC get a pass when something like New Vegas or Dragon's Dogma get middling to OK review scores? Games should be examined from all angles, technical and entertainment sides alike. It doesn't matter how good the game is, if it's buggy and difficult to play then it can't be called a great game. 

Sleeping with Fishes

Then we get into the controversial area of reviewing games. Should reviewers be allowed to interact with the developers? The answer should clearly be no. Being personally involved with a person will color your view of their work, regardless of how much you may think otherwise. Don't worry, I'm not going to go full #Gamergate here, but this shouldn't be an issue that requires a full-blown consumer revolution. This is journalism 101, and the fact that it's still going on is indicative of how shitty the industry has gotten. 

I'm not saying these people can't interact. Giantbomb has always been one of my favorite game sites on the internet, sort of acting as an inti-every one else, and guys like Alex Navarro, Jeff Gerstmann and the late Ryan Davis are all great examples of what people in the industry should be. But my biggest issue with Giantbomb has always been the way they interact with various developers. To me there's something wrong about playing a game side-by-side with the developer, then turning around and giving that game a glowing review. I'm not saying you can't have fun with people, this industry is built on the idea of people having fun together, I'm saying perhaps don't taint the ethical side of your review by interacting with the vary person who's work your reviewing. 

Then there's the idea of paid reviews. I'm headed back to IGN for this one since they, more than any other site, have been accused of this time and time again. I'm not going to indicate IGN specifically, but the idea of paid reviews is real, as revealed in this interview. For quick reference, here's the quote:

"NG: How often do gaming publications (big and small) collude with developers for review scores, or exclusives? Is this more common than the public could ever foresee?

Allen: I have personally sat in negotiations where a publisher negotiated a higher review score for a game in exchange for an exclusive cover or assets for a separate upcoming game. It is common, especially with previews. This is why you often see glowing previews of bad games, or pre-release reviews that have to be revised post-launch."

The idea that this is happening is somewhat disturbing. No, fuck that, it's really disturbing. Reviews are supposed to safeguard we, the consumer, against bad, unfinished, or unplayable games. How can we trust them if they're lying to us, just to score some more page views. 

Final review

Game reviews are a dying beast, with publications lashing out in their death throes. Numerical scores are meaningless, and should only be used a a guide line for how good or bad the game might be. Never put stock into a number, or a decimal point. Were it up to me we'd be on a 1-3 system:

1 - Don't play. It's a bad game.

2 - Play at your own risk, problematic and may contain bugs

3 - Very well designed, fun to play, and stable throughout.

That's it. If it has major bugs, like DA:I or Halo:MCC do, then it's a 2. If it's bugs are minimal and don't detract from the gameplay, then it's a 3. If it's a piece of steaming shit, then it's a 1. Simple. 

I'm not going to implement this system, as I don't see my writings as reviews. I started this blog as an echo-chamber of my opinions, and that's the way it will remain. All I want to do is remind people to look out. The industry is going through some major changes, both good and bad, as it reaches it's awkward and violent adolescents. Pay attention, keep your eyes open, and always remember to think for yourselves. 

Looking at: 2014 in gaming, part 1: the Miscellaneous

Opening Words

http://www.slate.com/content/dam/slate/articles/life/food/2013/07/130717_FOOD_WomanLaughingAloneWithSalad.jpg.CROP.article568-large.jpg

SAMPLE TEXT HERE

2014 is quickly drawing to a close, and while most people will be out spreading holiday cheer and spending time with family and friends, I'll be here, writing words about games, movies, and the occasional bout of pure insanity.

Today, and for the next few days, I'll be looking back at 2014 in gaming, and talking about what games managed to not completely disappoint me this year. Generally this is known as a "best of" list, or a "Top Ten" list, but I don't play that way. Instead, each day I'll be going through one quarter of the year and looking at the best games from that time frame, and why you should play the fuck out of them.

A heads up, it was a fucking disappointing year. I could only muster together 24 games that didn't completely disappoint or enrage me. That means there was only two good games a month, and some of these were real stretches too.

Today is the cast offs, the games I didn't like, didn't play, or couldn't play. I'd like to preface this by saying this is simply my opinion, and like everything I say/do/write, means nothing. If you disagree with me, that's fine, having an opinion merely means you're still human.

The Dissapointments

Far Cry 4

http://psmedia.playstation.com/is/image/psmedia/far-cry-4-listing-thumb-01-us-13may14?$Icon$

A great game, that we've already played.

Far Cry 4 isn't a bad game, in fact it's quite a good game. But it's a game we've seen before. One of my favorite things about the Far Cry series was that, true to their name, each of them were a far cry from the last one. FC1 was a sci-fi shooter, FC2 a hard hitting Africa war sim, and FC3 an all-American power fantasy. FC4 is just a really good re-skin FC3. It's a fun game, but that's because it's the game we already knew was good. It's Ubisoft's best game this year, but being Ubisoft's best has become it's own hyperbole, as this year has proven.

Borderlands: Pre-Sequel

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/smFJaRWwvRs/maxresdefault.jpg

Moon Australians are more annoying the regular Australians. 

Now here was a good look at what happens when you don't let a good IP just die. Borderlands:PS is the worst way to keep something alive, ie, handing it off to a new dev team. The ideas of a good Borderlands game are here, mostly taken from the far superior Borderlands 2, but wrapped in so much stupid horseshit it's hard to enjoy. For every good idea presented, there's two or three bad ideas along with it. The character talk more, but they're all annoying as hell. There's no more cringe-worthy memes, but now there's shoe-horned in LGBT characters because Anthony Davis is a crazy person. It's enjoyable with friends, sure, but I've beaten the game and have no plans to replay it. Playing it just makes me want to play BL2 again, so I did.

Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare

http://gearnuke.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Call-of-Duty-Advanced-Warfare-feature-image-3.jpg

Ol' Faithful, never fails.

2014 was such a shitty year that I really considered putting this on my best of. COD: AW is a completely competent game, bolstered by great performances by Troy Baker and Kevin Spacey. But like FC4, it's a game we've all seen before. I missed last year's Ghosts, so my last experience with the series was Black Ops 2 and, aside from much better graphics, it was the same game. I'm tired of the COD series, and I suspect a lot of you are two, but Sledgehammer games might be able to save it. Just not this year yet.

Watch_Dogs

http://www.consolectrl.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/watch-dogs-aiden-pearce-wallpaper.jpg

Bland, generic, and a waste of a new IP.

You knew this was coming. Watch_Dogs has become the poster boy for over-hyping a game. A great E3 trailer does not a great game make, and this is evidence. A boring plot, a psychotic and unlikable protagonist, a complete misunderstanding of the basic ideas of it's own concept, and a dumbed down PC version are enough to make Watch_Dogs one of the most disappointing games this year. Add to that Ubisoft lying to people and it's a marvel this game got any positive attention at all.

Star Bound

http://cdn.akamai.steamstatic.com/steam/apps/211820/header.jpg?t=1412593025

Early Access to no content.

Early Access games are a controversial topic in PC gaming circles right now, and Star Bound has found itself a poster boy for why it's a bad idea. A great game that's received acclaim, abandoned and left to die on the vine, As of today the devs have finally announced the long awaited next step, but should people have to wait almost a year for any form of development on a game they paid full price for? I don't think so, and neither should you.

The Didn't/Couldn't play

EA Games

It might be passe now, but I have an ongoing boycott against EA games. It's a personal thing, something I rarely bring up, and I don't discourage others from playing EA game, it's just that I don't. I've been doing this in protest of games like Sim City and BF4, games released in a broken state that never seem to get fixed. (Note: I did NOT boycott Mass Effect 3. Bad writing is no reason to boycott a game) What this means is that I didn't and won't play games like Dragon Age: Inquisition, Sims 4, and TitanFall, as well as any EA sports games. I have no opinion one way or the other on these games, save for what I can only speculate on.

GTA V HD

I like GTA V. I really liked GTA V. I only haven't played it again in HD because the PC version doesn't come out till next year. With today's announcement of online heists, and the promise of a proper PC port, instead of whatever the PC version of GTA IV was, I'm really looking forward to this.

Five Nights at Freddy's 1/2

Despite my love of horror games, I didn't get a chance to play FNaF at all. They both look quite good, and I hope to play them one day, if I get the courage to.

Destiny

I don't play console games that much anymore, simply because I find PC gaming to be much easier. Therefore I didn't get a chance to experience Destiny, the followup from Halo creators Bungie. It sounds like I dodged a bullet though, since I've heard complaints about nearly ever aspect of the game. The PC version is due some time next year, but I honestly don't know if I'll play it, even then.

The Talos Principle

Believe me, this is top of my list right now. The recently released puzzle game has got me intrigued, with it's promise of challenging puzzles and a tonne of secrets to discover. The holiday time is just a little to rough on the ol' VanderWallet, so like so many other great game it's getting passed over till next year.

Donkey Kong: Tropical Freeze

Trust me, I wanted to, but I don't have a WiiU handy to often. I love DK games, be them in 3d like the classic DK 64 or the old SNES platformers. I really do hope I get my hands on this game soon, since it looks like a tonne of fun.

DoubleFine Games

DoubleFine technically released two games this year. I say technically, because in reality they released half a game, and a broken mess. Despite being released very early in the year, we have yet to see episode two of Broken Age, proving that perhaps money can't buy greatness since this game cost three million to make. Speaking of broken things, Spacebase DF-9, a game so shitty that Steam has had to re-write it's content codes for what can be released on Early Access. At least Star Bound has promised us content, but DF-9 has gone the way of the prom-night baby and been left abandoned with no support. Really shameful actions considering how highly we once held Tim Schafar in such high regard.

Outro

http://www.foodiggity.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/salad-woman.jpg

The Closest this blog will ever get to being about food.

Well that's it. The short list of games that utterly failed to impress me this year. To be fair, most of them were close calls, and had they been just a little bit better they wouldn't be on this list. Look forward to my breakdown of the best games this year, starting next week.

Looking at: Prisoners

http://www.thebuzzmedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/prisoners_ver9_xxlg.jpg

Elementary my dear...

http://www.fatmovieguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Prisoners-Movie-Trailer.jpg

Gyllenhaal's Detective Loki and Jackman's Keller Dover often find themselves at odds.

Cable Television has no shortage of procedural cop drama mystery shows. Series like Castle, Bones, CSI, NCIS, and Law and Order are all, essentially, just modernized version of classic detective stories, albiet with much more sex and drama. They're about people solving crimes, and occasionally, examining how far those people are willing to solve those crimes.

Prisoners plays out like a long version of one of these shows. Were it to be an episode of CSI, it'd easily be one of their best, up there with the infamous Tarantino episode. It's an incredibly well thought out, methodical, and twisting journey into some really dark places.

Taken

http://wpmedia.o.canada.com/2013/09/film_review_prisoners.jpg

Paul Dano's Alex Jones is creepy, even against Jackman's violent nature.

The setup of the story is that on Thanksgiving day two young girls go missing. One is the daughter of Keller and Grace Dover (Hugh Jackman, Maria Bello) and the other is the daughter of Franklin and Nancy Birch (Terrence Howard, Viola Davis). The case get's picked up by superstar detective Loki (Jake Gyllenhaal) who turns up Alex Jones (the always creepy Paul Dano). Alex is the prime suspect, but is released after no evidence is found and it's determined he couldn't do it due to his mental handicap giving him the intelligence of a ten year old.

Keller decides that, regardless of what people say, Alex is guilty. After hearing him say something cryptic, and witnessing the kid acting like a complete creep, Keller kidnaps Alex and interrogates him with increasing violence. Meanwhile Loki struggles to solve the case, clashing with a lack of evidence, uncooperative suspects, and even Keller himself.

There's a number of twists and turns throughout the movie, with a particularly great third act to tie it all together. The theme of running into dead ends and getting lost is reinforced with images of mazes littered through the movie, and it's an interesting level of uncomfortable to watch. You constantly want to know where the movie is going, and just when you think you figured it out you, and the movie, hit a dead end and are sent down another dark corridor.

More interesting is the parallel drawn between the various "prisoners". During the movie Keller's daughter is held captive, while he himself holds a man with the mind of a child captive trying to find her. It's interesting and uncomfortable to watch, going to a place that most cable TV shows wouldn't touch with a twenty foot pole.

Breaking the Woodwork

http://www.apnatimepass.com/prisoners-movie-wallpaper-9.jpg

The film repeatedly posits the question "how far is too far?"

On the technical side Prisoners is a great looking movie. Shots are expertly framed, and the lighting perfectly sets the mood in each scene. There's a pervasive mood of dreariness and morbid sadness, which helps to sell the serious nature of the film. Pennsylvania has never looked more depressing, and the late Autumn mood fits perfectly with the harsh nature of the situation.

A special mention goes to the audio work here. The sound design of Prisoners is fantastic. Music is used sparingly, and when it is the dark style of it, highlighted by high pitched strings, sells the hell out the scene. It creates a tense mood, never really letting you know what's about to happen, and it fits well with the maze-like structure of the movie. Special notice has gone into the sound effect work as well, with footsteps creating audible creaks, and there's an expert level of attention to detail in minor things like rainfall, the old and decrepit buildings, and background noises that help construct a scene. If Prisoners is supposed to be structured like an old radio detective serial, then it really shows in the sound design.

Not Wolverine

http://cdn.hbowatch.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/b6e9f7347bc287bdde3d3780cc56a571.jpg

Alex Jones with his aunt played by Melissa Leo.

On to the acting. Maria Bello and Viola Davis both do great work as the grieving mothers, giving diametrically opposed views on how people cope with loss. One mother just crawls into bed and sleeps the whole time, only waking to cry, or experience short bouts of hysteria. The other chooses to participate in the search, going to great lengths, even beyond the bounds of her own moral fiber. Both are great to watch, but Davis' performance as Nancy Birch is truly marvelous and she sells the hell out her character.

Paul Dano is a creepy looking dude, and he's often at his best when he exploits this. He's made a name for himself as the quiet, "there's something wrong with this dude" kind of character and his performance as the mentally handicapped Alex Jones is wonderful. He gives off an air of knowing more then he lets on, but it's all hidden in a tangled web of whatever is left of his mind.

Jake Gyllenhaal is one of my favorite working actors, and it's always a treat to see him at work. He manages to come across as a caring scumbag, a guy that wants to solve this case for his own reasons before anything else. He's greasy, he's scummy, but he's also professional and a damn good detective. Gyllenhaal also worked with the director on Enemy, released the same year, and his recent work in Nightcrawler has also been praised. He's been busy lately, and it shows.

Hugh Jackman and Terrence Howard both do great work as the father figures, but it's Jackman's performance as Keller Dover is the real standout of the film. He's angry and violent, but also tired. He looks like a man at the brink of his sanity, but also struggling with the morality of what he's doing. You want to root for him, but at the same time his actions are so deplorable that you feel bad for doing so.

Heaven Sent

http://www.themaninthemoviehat.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/jake-gyllenhaal-in-prisoners-movie-9.jpg

By the end, everyone is broken and tired, no exceptions.

Prisoners is a great film, probably one of the best sleepers from last year. It's a dark, twisting tale that rewards patience. It may drag on at times, but it weaves a story that defies simple guesses. Anyone sick of procedural and copy/paste cops shows on TV, and yearning for a true mystery, owe it to themselves to check out Prisoners. It's sure to keep you captive all the way through.

Looking at: The Distorted View Show

http://a4.mzstatic.com/us/r30/Music/v4/ad/73/d8/ad73d83b-6c7a-fcf4-87e8-7cf9bc8b3b3d/cover326x326.jpeg

Train tracks

http://i3.bebo.com/045/4/large/2008/03/11/19/661141401a7126222283l.jpg

Show host Tim Henson, as described by anyone with moral fiber.

Once again I'm breaking from my norm of talking about games or movies. But unlike my last foray into insanity this time I'm looking at a podcast, and one of the biggest factors into why I am the man that I am.

My sense of humour has been described as "morbid" "disgusting" and "downright horrible" by a variety of people over the years. For the longest time I thought it was just me. Then, one day in 2009, I ran across a cartoon on Newgrounds.com.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTdts9TDKsA

I'd been fascinated by the news for a long time, but this was unlike anything else. What kind of news show not only talks about two girls being mutilated by trains, but makes fun of them for that AND makes a cartoon of making fun of them? The answer: Tim Henson's Distorted View Daily.

From Dumb Beginnings, Stupidity. 

http://i.vimeocdn.com/video/462627717_1280x720.jpg

Henson during a video cast.

Timothy James Henson, aka TimmyBoo Henson, aka Timmy Shanequa LeaQuanda Henson, aka Pubic Laser Wolf is a strange breed. He considers himself a full time podcaster, and indeed, supports himself solely through the support of the show's listeners. It's a weird business model for a podcast, but then again, this is a weird show.

Henson started messing around with audio production back in 1996, landing a full time show on the call-in radio network TellMe. It was here that Distorted View got it's name, as well as a skeleton version of what it would later become. The premise of the show was that Henson, along with his co-host Joey, read strange news stories from around the internet and made fun of them, often with bits like in the video above. Distorted View quickly became one of the most popular shows on Tellme, and for a brief time it was even broadcast on terrestrial radio.

After TellMe went belly up (by Henson's admission it was kind of a dumb idea), DV was moved to MP3NewsBreak, but that also failed (Henson blames himself). Briefly DV was to be on Sirus, but that never came true. Finally, on December 6, 2004 Distorted View found it's home in the form of a downloadable podcast. Ten years later and the show has only grown, both in length and content, but also production value, and certainly fandom.

Distorted View Daily. 

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyWxpPdgL7jRrbn6ggjN0jgayDQDXkoTAYSfLh4IX4788EL6G_fePNebTPxEr0RvzWhg_GA5FmtJmp941Rg_BKh41f0P2OVO8upm_Gd4BezlXQ0y0UrjzOABivFc7IBjsitnYd3kXwlf4/s1600/DV_pedoBear_Wmark.png

A fan-made poster for DV. Henson maintains an active relationship with his listeners, and encourages them, perhaps not the best idea. 

Distorted View lists itself as an "adult podcast" and it's UK Itunes listing calls it a "30 minute vacation from political correctness". Both statements are incredibly true, DV is a show with almost no bounds. Be it weird asian porn, elderly transvestites, the handicapped, or just good 'ol fashioned racism Henson will talk about it in great length. This is not a show for the feint of heart or weak of constitution, and you really need to be on the same wavelength to appreciate it. There's a reason DV's fans call themselves "freaks" because you just need to be an absolute freak to enjoy the show.

Perhaps that's DV's biggest draw, is that it's a show for people outside the social norms. No one that listens to DV is normal. At best, they suffer from some anti-social behaviour or are just really off in their head. Those are the "normals". Then there's people like the couple that cut themselves during sex because their fetish is blood, or the woman that accidentally found herself as a dominatrix. There's a man that get's off to being shocked with electricity, or masturbating with oral freezing cream, just to see what happens. These are not normal people, and these are the freaks.

Distorted View welcomes them all with open arms, and invites them into it's strange realm of madness. Not only does the show not shy away from taboo topics like strange fetishes, it openly encourages them. Distorted View is like one long, never ending social experiment to find the weirdest and worst creations of mankind, it's just way to dumb to know that.

It's Sextastic. 

The show is comprised of three sections. First is the audio portion of the show. This is where Henson displays all the weirdness he, or his listeners, have gathered from around the internet. It's like an auditory show-and-tell from hell. Reoccurring themes are clips from strange pornography, outtakes from various forms of media, people doing and/or saying stupid things, or just disgusting audio from the darkest corners of the internet, all played with Henson's commentary. Often Henson's reactions are genuine, ranging from outrage to disgust, to morbid curiosity and outright entertainment.

The second section is the Distorted News, or as Henson calls it the "crazy bizarre twisted fucked up news". Ostensibly this is the point of the show, billing itself as a news podcast. Much like his earliest shows, the section is merely Henson reading and reacting to, or making fun of, weird news stories happening in the world. These include such classics as a judge using a penis pump during court, an antisemitic man shooting a jewish center and killing zero jews, or horrible things being done to babies and/or the elderly. Noticing a pattern, one of the most reoccurring bits on the show is the propensity for really strange news stories to emerge from Florida, prompting Henson and the Freaks to refer to it as "America's most fucked-up state". Most of the fun of this section just comes from Henson's reactions to what he's reading, as most times he'll be reading it for the first time as he presents it.

Finally there's the voicemail section. Freaks can call into the show and have their voicemails played, sort of like a really slow, crappy audio forum. It allows Freaks to give Henson feedback, or more likely, pick fights with other listeners. It's a divisive section to be sure, but some of the best content has come from it.

The best part of DV is the bits that Henson puts on. Some of these have come and gone over the years, but every once and a while they pop back up in the best way possible. I'm just going to list them off here in no particular order:

Sextastic Tuesday: The longest running bit. Every Tuesday Henson reads a piece of erotic fiction found online, often poorly written and with strange subject matter. Some of the classic stories include a woman masturbating with maggots, Bert and Ernie gay rape porn, and Professor Xavier having sex with various historical figures, for no reason.

Black and White: Henson plays two audio clips, one of white people acting stupid, and one of black people acting stupid, and decides who's stupider. It's a racial bonding exercise!

Ask Satan: A fan favorite, despite only appearing a few times. Henson will ask the Dark Lord Satan various questions. Satan has grown over the years from the lord of Hell, to a tired father, just trying to get by with a second rate resort. When he's done Satan flies away like Superman, proclaiming "Satan AWAY!"

Linda Finkle Hall of Fame: A showcase of horrible musical acts from around the internet. Named for Linda Finkle, an atrocious singer with no musical talent Henson stumbled upon while looking for terrible 9/11 tribute music.

For the Freaks. 

The most impressive part about DV is that it still exists. in 2007 Henson launched the Sideshow, a membership version of the show. For a few dollars a month, or a year, listeners get access to extra content, exclusive shows, and full access to the archives of several thousand shows. Impressively, this worked, and Henson has now made DV his full time job. It shows, as the amount of effort he puts into every episode is impressive, especially given it's a daily show with five to six episodes a week.

Distorted View is not a show for everyone. It's a show for people who exist on the fringes of society, barely clinging to shreds of normality. It's a show that actively promotes and celebrates weird, disturbing, or disgusting behavior. It's a cavalcade of the worst that humanity has to offer. Whether Henson knows it or not, Distorted View almost acts a mirror to society, pointing out it's flaws and laughing at it with little care for who it offends.

Distorted View is the anti-CNN, the anti-Fox News, and the anti-normal. It's a show that proudly features men sticking fingers in their urethra, laughs at the sound of a bunny being crushed, and regularly makes fun of porn acting. Distorted View is a show for the freaks of the world, and I wouldn't have it any other way.