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Train tracks
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Show host Tim Henson, as described by anyone with moral fiber.
Once again I'm breaking from my norm of talking about games or movies. But unlike my last foray into insanity this time I'm looking at a podcast, and one of the biggest factors into why I am the man that I am.
My sense of humour has been described as "morbid" "disgusting" and "downright horrible" by a variety of people over the years. For the longest time I thought it was just me. Then, one day in 2009, I ran across a cartoon on Newgrounds.com.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTdts9TDKsA
I'd been fascinated by the news for a long time, but this was unlike anything else. What kind of news show not only talks about two girls being mutilated by trains, but makes fun of them for that AND makes a cartoon of making fun of them? The answer: Tim Henson's Distorted View Daily.
From Dumb Beginnings, Stupidity.
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Henson during a video cast.
Timothy James Henson, aka TimmyBoo Henson, aka Timmy Shanequa LeaQuanda Henson, aka Pubic Laser Wolf is a strange breed. He considers himself a full time podcaster, and indeed, supports himself solely through the support of the show's listeners. It's a weird business model for a podcast, but then again, this is a weird show.
Henson started messing around with audio production back in 1996, landing a full time show on the call-in radio network TellMe. It was here that Distorted View got it's name, as well as a skeleton version of what it would later become. The premise of the show was that Henson, along with his co-host Joey, read strange news stories from around the internet and made fun of them, often with bits like in the video above. Distorted View quickly became one of the most popular shows on Tellme, and for a brief time it was even broadcast on terrestrial radio.
After TellMe went belly up (by Henson's admission it was kind of a dumb idea), DV was moved to MP3NewsBreak, but that also failed (Henson blames himself). Briefly DV was to be on Sirus, but that never came true. Finally, on December 6, 2004 Distorted View found it's home in the form of a downloadable podcast. Ten years later and the show has only grown, both in length and content, but also production value, and certainly fandom.
Distorted View Daily.
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A fan-made poster for DV. Henson maintains an active relationship with his listeners, and encourages them, perhaps not the best idea.
Distorted View lists itself as an "adult podcast" and it's UK Itunes listing calls it a "30 minute vacation from political correctness". Both statements are incredibly true, DV is a show with almost no bounds. Be it weird asian porn, elderly transvestites, the handicapped, or just good 'ol fashioned racism Henson will talk about it in great length. This is not a show for the feint of heart or weak of constitution, and you really need to be on the same wavelength to appreciate it. There's a reason DV's fans call themselves "freaks" because you just need to be an absolute freak to enjoy the show.
Perhaps that's DV's biggest draw, is that it's a show for people outside the social norms. No one that listens to DV is normal. At best, they suffer from some anti-social behaviour or are just really off in their head. Those are the "normals". Then there's people like the couple that cut themselves during sex because their fetish is blood, or the woman that accidentally found herself as a dominatrix. There's a man that get's off to being shocked with electricity, or masturbating with oral freezing cream, just to see what happens. These are not normal people, and these are the freaks.
Distorted View welcomes them all with open arms, and invites them into it's strange realm of madness. Not only does the show not shy away from taboo topics like strange fetishes, it openly encourages them. Distorted View is like one long, never ending social experiment to find the weirdest and worst creations of mankind, it's just way to dumb to know that.
It's Sextastic.
The show is comprised of three sections. First is the audio portion of the show. This is where Henson displays all the weirdness he, or his listeners, have gathered from around the internet. It's like an auditory show-and-tell from hell. Reoccurring themes are clips from strange pornography, outtakes from various forms of media, people doing and/or saying stupid things, or just disgusting audio from the darkest corners of the internet, all played with Henson's commentary. Often Henson's reactions are genuine, ranging from outrage to disgust, to morbid curiosity and outright entertainment.
The second section is the Distorted News, or as Henson calls it the "crazy bizarre twisted fucked up news". Ostensibly this is the point of the show, billing itself as a news podcast. Much like his earliest shows, the section is merely Henson reading and reacting to, or making fun of, weird news stories happening in the world. These include such classics as a judge using a penis pump during court, an antisemitic man shooting a jewish center and killing zero jews, or horrible things being done to babies and/or the elderly. Noticing a pattern, one of the most reoccurring bits on the show is the propensity for really strange news stories to emerge from Florida, prompting Henson and the Freaks to refer to it as "America's most fucked-up state". Most of the fun of this section just comes from Henson's reactions to what he's reading, as most times he'll be reading it for the first time as he presents it.
Finally there's the voicemail section. Freaks can call into the show and have their voicemails played, sort of like a really slow, crappy audio forum. It allows Freaks to give Henson feedback, or more likely, pick fights with other listeners. It's a divisive section to be sure, but some of the best content has come from it.
The best part of DV is the bits that Henson puts on. Some of these have come and gone over the years, but every once and a while they pop back up in the best way possible. I'm just going to list them off here in no particular order:
Sextastic Tuesday: The longest running bit. Every Tuesday Henson reads a piece of erotic fiction found online, often poorly written and with strange subject matter. Some of the classic stories include a woman masturbating with maggots, Bert and Ernie gay rape porn, and Professor Xavier having sex with various historical figures, for no reason.
Black and White: Henson plays two audio clips, one of white people acting stupid, and one of black people acting stupid, and decides who's stupider. It's a racial bonding exercise!
Ask Satan: A fan favorite, despite only appearing a few times. Henson will ask the Dark Lord Satan various questions. Satan has grown over the years from the lord of Hell, to a tired father, just trying to get by with a second rate resort. When he's done Satan flies away like Superman, proclaiming "Satan AWAY!"
Linda Finkle Hall of Fame: A showcase of horrible musical acts from around the internet. Named for Linda Finkle, an atrocious singer with no musical talent Henson stumbled upon while looking for terrible 9/11 tribute music.
For the Freaks.
The most impressive part about DV is that it still exists. in 2007 Henson launched the Sideshow, a membership version of the show. For a few dollars a month, or a year, listeners get access to extra content, exclusive shows, and full access to the archives of several thousand shows. Impressively, this worked, and Henson has now made DV his full time job. It shows, as the amount of effort he puts into every episode is impressive, especially given it's a daily show with five to six episodes a week.
Distorted View is not a show for everyone. It's a show for people who exist on the fringes of society, barely clinging to shreds of normality. It's a show that actively promotes and celebrates weird, disturbing, or disgusting behavior. It's a cavalcade of the worst that humanity has to offer. Whether Henson knows it or not, Distorted View almost acts a mirror to society, pointing out it's flaws and laughing at it with little care for who it offends.
Distorted View is the anti-CNN, the anti-Fox News, and the anti-normal. It's a show that proudly features men sticking fingers in their urethra, laughs at the sound of a bunny being crushed, and regularly makes fun of porn acting. Distorted View is a show for the freaks of the world, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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