Looking at: Mario platformers

Super Jump Man

Mario is, hands down, the most well known video game character ever made. If you ask people who have never touched a gaming console in their lives to tell you one video game character, they'll probably at least somewhat describe the red suspenders wearing plumber. 

2015 marks Mario's 30th anniversary, and to mark the occasion I thought I'd rank the Mario platformers, worst to best, since these are Mario at his finest. Here are all eleven 2D mario platformers, starting at the bottom:

11 - Super Mario Land (Gameboy)

I'm placing this one at the bottom for two reasons:

1) It's the only one on the list I've never played very much

2) It's not all that great regardless. 

I realized while researching this game that SML is actually the first Mario game I ever did play, specifically on my friend Josh's black and white gameboy at recess in grade 1. Unfortunately that gameboy just wasn't really up to the task of creating a full Mario experience, and while the game may play decently, there's a host of issues, ranging from limited level design, and the smallest amount of levels in a Mario game, to the worst iteration of the Fire Flower. It was a valiant attempt at porting the entire Mario experience to handheld, but it just wasn't as good. 

10 - New Super Mario Bros 2 (3DS)

New Super Mario Bros was a breath of fresh air, and I'll get to it later, but it's sequel on the 3DS failed to pack any sort of punch. By filling the game with thousands and thousands of coins, it pointed out how trivial both the coin collection system had become, but lives became completely pointless, since you'd have well over thirty by the end of the first world. Compound that with a lack of challenging levels and a bunch of rehashes from NSMB and NSMB2 just isn't that great of a Mario game. It's enjoyable, sure, but there are so many better choices. 

9 - Super Mario Bros 2 (NES, SNES)

Ok, right off the bat, this game shouldn't even technically be on the list, since it's not really a Mario game. It's actually just a re-skin of a completely unrelated game called Doki Doki Panic. The story goes that Nintendo was worried that the actual Mario Bros 2 was to difficult for Western audiences, so they pallet-swapped this unknown game and sold it as Mario Bros 2. 

All that aside, it's not a totally bad game. I gets a bad rap because of how different it is from the rest of the series, but it did help to establish some things that have since become cannon, like Luigi's better jumping ability at the cost of control, or Peach's limited floating ability. Still, it's a weak platformer and the grab-and-throw mechanic doesn't really fit well with Mario, especially not on the NES. 

8 -  Lost Levels (SNES)

The actual followup to Super Mario Bros, only released in the west as part of the Mario All Stars pack for the SNES. Nintendo were worried it was to hard for Western audiences and they were kind of right. The Lost Levels are brutal, cranking the difficulty up to 11 almost immediately and only getting harder as you go. It plays just like the vanilla Mario, and that's great, but it's insanely hard, to the point where it stops being fun. 

7  - New Super Mario Bros. U (WiiU)

Much like the above mentioned NSMB2, this one is lower on the list for just being a follow-up to a better game. Good levels, and a Luigi-themed expansion pack, coupled with the four player multiplayer makes this a completely competent game, but it hardly utilizes it's hardware, and at best feels like an expansion pack for Mario Wii. There's nothing wrong with NSMBU, but there's nothing that really sets it apart either. 

6 - Mario Land 2 (Gameboy)

Mario Land 2 might be the most unknown game on this list, but that's a shame since it's really good. Completely disregarding the NES Mario games, ML2 wasn't afraid to put the Gameboy through it's paces. Using sprites from the recent SNES Mario title helped the game look better then it was, and as a potable Mario experience, it's amazing for it's time. 

5 - New Super Mario Bros. Wii (Wii)

Four player co-op Mario might be one of the best and worst ideas the series has ever had. The chaos and carnage created with Mario, Luigi, and two Toads on screen at the same time is something that has to be experienced for real. Not content to just let four people play Mario at the same time, NSMB Wii was a well balanced and well made Mario game that's just fun to play, either by yourself or with friends. 

4 - Mario Brothers (NES, SNES)

The original that started it all, created a legend, and made Nintendo a houshold name. Amazingly, the original Mario Bros holds up pretty well, even thirty years on. It's simplistic, crude, and short, but works in every way. People have often said that Nintendo is afraid to innovate, but that might be because they got it so right on the first try. The platforming in Mario is sublime, and it became the standard of all platformers to follow. 

3 - New Super Mario Brothers (DS)

"New" is something of an odd adjective to place in the title of this game, and yet it fits so well. NSMB was exactly what the Mario franchise needed after so many 3D outings, a complete tear down and return to form with a shiny new coat of paint, and that's exactly what this DS title offered. The gameplay was largely the same as the old Mario games, but it's what it added that made it stand out. The art style was an interesting mix of 3D models on a 2D plane that made the game look better then it really was, but it was the level design itself that stood out. Each level is memorable, even if it doesn't have any sort of gimmick, because of how well put together they are, using angles and shapes the old Mario games barely dreamed of. With plenty of secrets, collectibles, and a player VS player mode, this really is one of the all time best Mario games, best DS games, and best platformers ever made. 

2 - Mario Bros 3 (NES, SNES)

Creating so much of what would eventually become Mario standard, and kicking ass while doing it. Mario 3 was so good that it got it's own HD remake back before that was cool. The level design is a how-to of great design, with each level introducing a new challenge while still keeping in line with the world it exists in. Mario 3 also introduced the idea of non-linear level progression with the over-world map, and added mini-games into the mix as well. Never mind the fact that the game is just really fun to play, with a host of cool power-ups and items, awesomely surreal levels, challenging boss fights, and plenty to see and do. Mario 3 is legendary not only for what it introduced, but also for just being a really amazing game. 

1 - Super Mario World (SNES)

I have lost count of how many times I've beaten SMW. Seriously. It's been out for 25 years and I've beaten it so many times I can't remember any more. 

Super Mario World should be in a museum as a piece of art, and it's damn near perfect from ever angle. The art style is iconic, with expert sprite work that looks great and moves fluidly. The back grounds are colorful and varied, making each level feel different from each other. The platforming is nearly flawless, with jumps that will challenge you and the ability to glide opening up new possibility every few levels. 

It's the levels themselves, I think, that make SMW the masterpiece that it is. There's an obvious pace to the main levels, slowly introducing new ideas as you go and making you figure everything out. Even better is the amount of levels there are to unlock, with entire worlds hidden away behind mysterious keyholes and out of place pipes. 

I really could ramble on forever about what makes Super Mario World so great, but I'm afraid of being accused of having rose tinted glasses. I re-played Mario World again recently, just to see, and while my reflexes aren't what they were when I was seven, the game was still incredibly enjoyable. It's available on the E-shop now, and elsewhere if you know where to look, and I encourage anyone that enjoys Mario games, great design, wonderful artwork, or just a fun game to give it a try. 

Game Over

There it is, my ranking of the Mario 2d platformers. I'd rank the 3d games, but there's not really enough of them, so here it is in short order:

Mario Sunshine

Super Mario Wold Wii U

All of the other ones

Mario 64

Galaxy 2

Personally, to me, Mario is at his absolute best when it's in the 2D realm. Not that I have anything against the 3d games, but platforming just works better in 2D, and it always will. 

The more astute of you may have noticed there are some games missing. The Yoshi's Island series isn't on here since, despite Mario appearing as a baby, the games aren't really about Mario, and even the Nintendo Wiki puts them in a different category. Same goes for any game involving Wario, although he's in a completely different place now. 

All told, this is just my personal opinion on one of the greatest and longest running franchises in gamine. If you have differing opinions that's fine, it just means you're a human. At the end of the day, any Mario game is, to me, a good Mario game. 

Looking at: E3 2015

E3 was a thing that happened and we all let it happen.

Overall 2015 wasn't a horrible year for the show. The addition of three new conferences only increased the amount of announcements and the embarrassment was mostly relegated to one show.

Alright, let's go through the shows rapid like and see what worked, what didn't work, and what made E32015 worth talking about:

Bethesda

Bethesda came out swinging, or more specifically firing both barrels with their extended look at Doom 4. They rode that train through the Dishonored 2 announcement, including the announcement of a playable female protagonist, right through Battlecry and into Elder Scrolls Online.

Then they delivered the coup de gras with plenty of Fallout coverage, including two in-game demos, more information than you can shake a mininuke at, and the announcement of a Pip Boy companion app and arm brace. Couple that with the launch of a Fallout mobile game for IOS (Android version still pending) and you have a great show.

Overall, for their first show as a company, Bethesda did great. They obviously did a lot of research on how to properly control the show and kept a great energy throughout. It is a bit unfortunate that they had so few games to talk about, but they nicely balanced it with plenty of video content and demos.

Microsoft

MS have had a shaky history at E3, often spending more time talking about television and sports then actual games. I'm happy to say that wasn't the case this year, as they never mentioned television once and focused on actual game announcements and demos.

Halo 5, Rise of the Tomb Raider, and Gears of War 4 all had great gameplay demos showing off some interesting tech, as well as a second look at Fallout 4. There were plenty of announcements from third party developers, including Ubisoft and EA each showing off some interesting content, although Ubisoft won hands down with announcements concerning the Division and R6: Siege. The debut of Dark Souls 3, Gigantic, and a host of indie games was a nice touch too, since MS never really attracts the indie crowd.

Ok, let's talk about the VR segment. I seem to be in the minority here by thinking it's not going to be that great. Seriously, I don't think Hololense is going to work nearly as well as the stage demo, and I say this with historical evidence to back me up. I seem to be the only person that remembers the stage demo and following hype for the reveal for the Kinect, which has since become an industry punchline. We'll see, but I don't have high hopes for Hololens, save for the fact that Peter Molyneux is no where in sight.

Finally, while I think the announcement of native back-wards compatibility is nice, I still think they're fucking liars and cowards for waiting this long into the hardware's life cycle to release it. I understand there may have been some actual engineering, but the cynic in me believes it wasn't all that difficult and X1 sales are so dismal they needed another angle. Regardless, it is a good thing, and has done wonders for my opinion of the X1.

EA

EA... wasn't all that great. It's that kind of bad that you don't realize till it's over, but yeah, EA was sort of bad. Starting the show off with Mass Effect: Andromeda was nice, although an actual trailer rather then just a reveal teaser might have been better. Need For Speed looks like it might be an ok reboot/continuation/culmination of the franchise, provided the awful banter is not actually part of the game.Unravel and Mirrors Edge Catalyst might be great, but hands down the gameplay reveal of Battlefront 3 stole the show.

That's the good, the bad is pretty much everything else. Like I said, NfS might be ok, but the demo shown was so annoyingly awful that it actually sort of put me off the game. PVS:GW 2 was also terrible, with boring looking gameplay and an unenthusiastic presentation. Worse it came right after Unravel's genuine stage presentation and was like watching a small town parade walk through a poetry reading.

Then there's EA sports. Between a host of games that don't look much different then their predecessors, horribly scripted banter about fantasy football, something called a Hoop Gawd trying to act excited about face scan technology that looks demonic, and just far to much Pele, EA sports halted what was already a second rate show to a complete stop.

If it hadn't been for Battlefront 3 they're show might have been a failure, as it stands, thanks to extended in game footage, culminating in a short fight between Vader and Luke, EA was barely tolerable for yet another year.

Ubisoft

Despite being based in my home and native land, I have no love for Ubisoft of late. Thankfully their cocaine powered E3 presentation was interesting enough for my rage to subside and there were plenty of announcement that got me excited.

A new South Park RPG, For Honor, R6: Siege, and Ghost Recon Wildlands top my list for their game announcements. We also saw an extended demo of The Division, which would be nice were it not for the fuck-awful banter they insisted on keeping. It didn't work when the game was announced and it doesn't work now. The announcement of a console version of Track Mania was pretty great and got me interested in that series, and while I have no idea who the black guy was for Just Dance, I understand the appeal of those games.

Yes, they announced the new AssCreed game, and no I don't really care. It doesn't have pirates, it looks exactly like all the other AssCreed games, it doesn't have pirates, and looks like it's filled with witty British mannerisms right out the ass. It might be good, and considering the negative PR Ubi got for the last two also non-pirate AssCreed games it sort of has to be. The inclusion of a female PC is a nice touch, so I guess they figured out their animation issues.

Sony 

It wasn't the worst show, but Sony's conference was a close second. Between ignoring the Vita completely, spending to much time not talking about games, and only a few new announcements Sony sort of became the Microsoft of this year's E3.

Ok, I'll give them this, starting the show with confirming that The Last Guardian still exists and is due out in a year was a smart move. Following that up with the reveal of Horizon: Zero Dawn was a great one-two punch and gave them just enough energy to carry through Hitman and Street Fighter 5. No Man's Sky was a nice cap off (although no longer a PS4 exclusive) before they slowed to a halt with whatever the hell Dreams is. Firewatch piqued my interest again, but the demo was nothing more then a short trailer. Then things took a turn for the worse with an uninteresting look at Destiny, a brief look at AssCreed Syndicate, a teaser for FF7 remake with no information, Whatever the hell Final Fantasy World is.

Things picked up again with a look at upcoming indie titles from Devolver, but got weird with the announcement of the Kickstarter for Shenmue 3. I don't think I like the idea of AAA companies using Kickstarter like that, but it did work and the project was funded in 9 hours flat. The look at Arkham Knight was boring and CodBlops 3 looks like the last three COD games.

Then there was the really boring shit, talking about Sony TV or something, and Skylanders Star Wars. They wrangled the show back up one more time with more Battlefront 3 footage before floundering with some footage of Uncharted 4. It wasn't an awful show, but there wasn't a great amount of energy in the room and not a lot of excitement for anything shown.

Nintendo

Once again Nintendo opted to do a Nintendo live pre-recorded presentation instead of a stage show and man was it ever a trip. Between the nightmare inducing muppet versions of the Nintendo executives, a string of nonsensical Japanese games and the breakneck pace of the entire show, I was still reeling from it well into the Square Enix conference.

They started off the show with the most goddamn surreal announcement for a game ever with the reveal of Star Fox Zero a remake-but-not of Star Fox 64. Then some talk of Skylanders/Amiibos crossovers, a new 3DS co-op Zelda game, and the reveal of Hyrule Warriors on 3DS. See Sony, when you have two active consoles you're supposed to talk about both of them.

Then things plunged head first into madness with rapid fire reveals of new Metroid game(s?), a new Fire Emblem, something called FE, and a look at Xenoblade Chronicles, only to pull the brakes hard with two new Animal Crossing games and Yoshi's Woolly World.

After a short trailer for something called YoKai Watch we got into the meat and two veg of the show with three new Mario games, with Mario and Luigi Paper Mario, a brand new Mario Tennis, and finally Mario Maker. I'm a big fan of Mario, so this was a nice way to cap off a crazy show.

Square Enix

Oh Square, you poor bastards. Maybe it was the lack of energy in the room, or the back-to-back times lot with Nintendo, or the lack of any games, but the Square show was a disaster. It sounded like there were maybe twenty people in the audience, and the fact that the show was mostly people talking didn't help.

They started with Just Cause 3, eventually, which was great, but then only teased at a new Nier game. They spoke a bit about Rise of the Tomb Raider, but only showed the trailer we had already seen. Then there was a bevy of games they didn't even talk about, including a new Dragon Quest and the Final Fantasy 7 remake, as well as the upcoming Final Fantasy 15. There was an overly long section for Kingdom Heats 3 and the new Kingdom Hearts mobile game, and that almost justified the show. Almost.

The awfulness continued with no new information about Hitman, the bizarre trailer for Star Ocean, a smattering of new info about Deus Ex: MD, and the cryptic announcement of a new studio called Tokyo RPG Factory. Overall, just awful and hard to watch.

The PC Gamer Show

While it was nice to have a show dedicated to PC gaming, and the interview format hosted by Sean "Day9" Plott was a nice change of pace, the show was just to goddamn long. It was interesting at least, but it rolled to almost three hours, and didn't actually announce that much.

It was mostly just updated information on games that had already been announced like Deus Ex, Hitman, Dean Hall's ION, Tacoma, and Beyond Eyes. The new information was welcome, sure, but rarely introduced revolutionary information.

There were some great reveals, like a new Pillars of Eternity expansion, Guild Wars 2's expansion (GUILDS!) Strafe and Enter the Gungeon demos, and of course the reveal that No Man's Sky was coming to PC.

If there is one really great thing to be said about the PC Gaming show is that it really was all about PC gaming. Being sponsored by AMD we saw a lot of hardware talk, and no one ever dumbed themselves down. There were lots of PC exclusive titles, and candid talk about the PC as a platform. Hopefully the show returns next year, but maybe a little less talking.

Overall

2015 wasn't a horrible year. Actually, it might be one of the better E3 shows out there. Plenty of announcements, three new contenders for better or worse, and lots of gameplay footage. Most importantly it kept us entertained and that's really what it's all about isn't it?

Looking at: Nintendo E3 2015

... I have no goddamn idea what I just watched. Seriously. People said the Ubisoft show felt like it was powered by cocaine, but that was fucking War and Peace compared to what Nintendo just put me through.

It was fun though, and once again the tightly controlled nature of a Nintendo Direct broadcast worked well in their favor as they face-blasted us with announcements throughout. Alright, let's see what just happened:


Star Fox Zero

Starting off with muppets of Iwata, Myiamoto and Reggie was... and odd choice, but the strangeness exploded when the muppets all turned into Star Fox characters.

Fine, whatever, that just sets the tone for the rest of the show. The game itself looks amazing, a lot like Star Fox 64, which is exactly what we've all been asking for since Star Fox 64 came out.

Space combat looks refined, as it should, and will make use of both of the WiiU's screens, allowing for a cockpit view on the gamepad.

The big new thing is the ability to transform. There's the classic Arwing and landmaster, but also a new hovercraft and walker robot as well. It's unknown how these will affect gameplay, but you'll be allowed to transform in real time.

Regardless, it's nice to see not only the new Star Fox in action, but that it's keeping the gameplay of the classic games rather then... whatever the hell was Starfox Adventures.

Skylanders Super Charged

Skylanders is Amiibos for non-Nintendo consoles essentially, so it makes sense that there would be a crossover. Bowser and Donkey Kong, along with vehicles will be coming to the new Skylanders game, and will also be usable as Amiibos. It's kid's stuff, so I don't really know.

Zelda: Triforce Heroes

Another 3DS Zelda game. Taking some cues from Four Swords this game is multiplayer focused. Unlike Four Swords this time around it's only three players, for reasons explained below.

The three players will be able to form a totem to solve puzzles and fight enemies. Apparently four players were to much, and calling it Triforce Heroes actually makes sense for only three people.

There is a single player mod as well, where you use dolls as the other Links. It's a bit weird if you ask me.

The other gimmick is the idea of using costumes to customize Link's abilities, like bigger bombs or negating damage.

Hyrule Warriors Legends 3D

A port of Hyrule Warriors, the Dynasty Warriors type game using Zelda characters, over to the 3DS. This version comes packed with every bit of WiiU DLC, as well as two new characters from Windwaker: Tetra and the Red King.

A whole bunch of crazy

Ok, here's where we delve into madness, as Nintendo just sort of spitfire a bunch of things without talking about any of them.

First up is Metroid. It think it's going to be two metroid games, but I don't know. One of them is four player co-op shooting, then there was some sort of 3V3 soccer thing.

Then, something Fire Emblem related. It was all very VERY confusing. I don't even know what console it's for. I think there's werewolves?

It's very emotional.

Then there was something from Atlus. I think it's the SMT/ Fire Emblem game they teased as sort of a joke, but now it's real. This was all in Japanese so I have no goddamn idea.

There was J-Pop and it was confusing and people were yelling a lot.

Even more confusion

Things sort of settled when they decided to take more then a few seconds for a single game. The issue was that game was Xeno Blade Chronicles and the trailer still made no sense. There's monsters and fighting and Earth is fucked.

I haven't played a Xeno Blades game, but I know there's a lot of hype surrounded this new one. It sounds like a big single-player MMO, and I usually dig that sort of thing.

It reminded me of Monster Hunter in a lot of ways, and that's a compliment because I really enjoy the Monster Hunter games. We'll see when it hits stateside Dec. 5.

Animal Crossing

Finally things calmed right the hell down, in fact they came to a screeching halt with Animal Crossing. Two new AC games were announced, one for each Nintendo system.

First was AC: Home Designer. I can't tell if it's an actual AC game or just a minigame, but it looks like it's much more creatively involved then the last AC game, allowing you to customize every aspect of your town.

The other game was a Mario Party style board game set in the Animal Crossing universe for WiiU. I'm not sure if the AC games will make the appropriate leap, and there weren't any Mario Party style mini games shown off, so this might be a pass.

Yoshi: Woolly World

While I don't understand the move to fabric based gaming, I do understand how much I enjoy Yoshi's Island for the SNES. Yoshi's Woolly World looks like a return to form, complete with egg throwing mechanics, and that sounds cool.

There was also the reveal of the co-op mechanic, allowing you to eat and throw your partner as an egg. By Nintendo's own admission this is a platformer meant for everyone, but I dig it.

YoKai Watch

Really looked like Pokemon, as interpreted by Atlus. There's monsters and battling, I think.

Mario

The Paper Mario series has been dormant for a while, but it's coming back and seems to have collided head on with the Mario and Luigi RPG series. It makes sense they would combine the two Mario RPG franchises into one, and the possibilities of two sets of Mario brothers sound cool as hell.

Then we got a reveal for a new Mario Tennis.Tennis is one of the older Mario games, so it's nice to see it returning in HD.

It also looks like, as with the other Mario sports games, power-ups now play a part, as the players on the field used mushrooms to grow bigger during the match. Insert your own steroids joke here.

Finally Nintedo finished with an indepth look at Mario Make, a game I'm really excited for. Mario Maker isn't just a simple map maker for Mario, it really does look like a fully customizable Mario game engine.

They briefly showed off graphics from all types of Mario games, and showed how you could mix and match assets from every era of game. There's also some interesting stuff, like the ability to attach assets together to create enemy towers, or swimming Goombas.

We also got to see a behind the scenes look at the creative process for Mario games. Overall, Mario Maker looks amazing and I can't wait.

That's it for Nintendo. I should have the Square Write up soon, then finishing off with the PC Gaming show tonight.